12.5.10

har Du tänkt på din egna begravning?

you werent there, not cause ure trying to understand or anything, u dont know this bit of me..who does?
i get confused when the inside doesnt get along, the brain or the heart or whatever..its like im not working right, offcourse thats a set fact, it would only be nice to know why.
this all was only wishful thinking right?
this life that i didnt really had any idea of, have i had my wishes hidden for myself? wouldnt be the first time.
im not the kind of person, like the girls having their weddings and stuff all planned out at age 12
but im not the kind that just let life flow and it all turns up perfect in the end, without planning, just perfect for them.
well where do i fit?
ive seen the happy faces, and ive seen the not so happy faces and well. .
as long as im happy right?
yeah thats easy enough.

where does this come from, well i have an idea of one long painfull memorie but could that be it..?
im just gonna have to..live it out, right?
udda människa..

jag sitter ensam här och undrar var jag hamnar härnäst
rannsaka och bekänn
för en ork som aldrig fanns.

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